In Zen, the ENSO represents. The emptiness and No mind of Zen Mind. Usually it is expressed through calligraphy, typically drawn in one fluid stroke.  The Space inside the circle represent the state of emptiness.

(Thanks to Dr. Meath Conlan, Zen Teacher , Bodhi Sangha member and Friend)

Enso Circle also denotes the no end and no start of this mysterious universe.

A long time back, my late father was having his last sleep in a mortuary freezer box kept in the front hall of our home at Mannarkkad.  A lot of people had gathered in and outside of our small home.  One could hear a lot many people sobbing. As I was sitting in the verandah, I noticed a small girl, trying to catch a dragon fly and she was humming. Quite oblivious to the stark atmosphere of grief.  At that point, it hit my mind that life goes on. With us or without us.

Just a few months before my father had expired, I had attended a Vipassana session at Igatpuri.  After a long one-year standoff satyagraha, the Director of HR of the company for whom I was working. (not working) had granted me a paid leave of 100 days. ( He might have thought, I would utilize that time to hunt for another job and disappear.  But I went back after those 100 days, regaining my strength and vigor for another stint of teaching him some humane way of leading people. ) I had heard about Vipassana from Master NLP trainer Dr. Richard McHugh.  Dick McHugh, taught Thara and I , NLP a couple of years back. And it was our routine to buy him a. T shirt as a gift every time he used to grace Blr.  That time, when I shared my “traumatic experience” , he suggested I should go to Vipassana. He shared with us, how he could cure his illness after going to Vipassana and off I went to Igatpuri. But those 10 days, added to my trauma. It was the month of June. Monsoon.  Mosquitoes. Mud. Flies.  The pungent smelling mosquito repellent and sonorous voice of  Goenkaji’s, cramps in my legs. And on the last day, when it ended, it was the first independency day for me.

I came back to Bangalore.   Lost my job. My father-in-law. My Father. Thara’s granduncle…. One by one … all within a few weeks.  As I was feeling overwhelmed and suffocated, I thought I got to try out Vipassana again. I had immense trust in Dr. Richard McHugh . And I went back to. Igatpuri.

Igatpuri Vipassana center is a big meditation center which can house almost 1000 people at the same time.  Each one of the meditators gets a room.   As I was completing the check in formality , I did not notice what room was allotted to me.  As I started looking for the door number and when ended up at the same place as I stayed in my last vipassana, it really shook me. I was wondering what is the probability of me getting allotted the same room after one year! The same room was allotted to me, as if the Enso circled wanted to tell me, I got to start again where I had left without any progress what so ever.  But the Second innings of Vipassana was good for me. That was the turning of tide in my spiritual quest.  When I came back home, as I was filing my  accommodation card, I  found out, the only change was the laundry token number was 117 instead of 116. May be the universe would have thought, I had my mind to washed clean as well.

Our Life does not progress linear.  In my case, it is always in a circle.  Even when Dr. Richard McHugh did the NLP timeline exercise,  my timeline of life was almost a circle. And he told me that in my case past and future meets twice. !

Time Circle did roll on…

And   I had moved from Vipassana to Zen as my spiritual path.

    from Igatpuri, Nashik to Perumalmalai, Kodaikanal

   Goenkaji’s  recorded voice to AMA Samy’s silence.

   And Mindful to No Mind….

Last two years I had spent half of my life at the Zendo and since December I am full-timer here as a. Zen student.

During the Xmas to New year eve sesshin, the zendo was quite full.  One of my erstwhile colleague and good friend, Sam too was attending the sesshin.  After one evening’s music meditation session, as all of us were moving out, she called us all and pointed to the western skyline , above the hillocks facing our Zendo.

There in the clear dark Kodai sky were 3 stars forming a perfect trirangle. She shared with us that  it is called Winter triangle formed by. 3 stars: Sirius , Betelgeuse and Procyn.

(Photo and knowledge nugget courtesy: Sam a co meditator , Bodhi Sangha member and friend at Little flower zendo)

I did remember, an old Malayalam novel written with the background of Kodaikanal Astronomical observatory. “Pullippulikalum Vellinakshathrangalum”.   (Spotted Leopards and Silver starts) . It was serialized in Mathrubhumi Weekly  and I might have read it when I was in high school. Some 40 years back. Written by C Radhakrishan , a famous Malayalam novelist known for his wonderful fiction work with a lot of metaphysical background.

After the sesshin got over, we went to a Pizza place known as. George’s gourmet kitchen and on the way back, I saw that Kodaikanal observatory.  I did share with Fr. AMA about the novel I had read some 40 years, written by a scientist who worked there and with a lot of metaphysical underpinnings.  And laughingly but very  affectionately, Fr. AMA told me no wonder you have reached the same place.

I felt some 40 years just disappeared as if in a time warp.

At the Zendo, my neighbor, Robert Amor is a dog lover. Already two dogs are being taken care by him.  A cute Labrador named as. Bhim and another indie Birdie.  So when he brought in another small puppy to the Zendo, I was thinking, we are kind of getting into trouble. Robert told me , Kutti’s mother abandoned her and she would have died lying on the road, hence he got her to the Zendo.

Not every meditator who comes to the Zendo are not dog lovers. Though both are enlightened Zendogs, the new visitors come in with a bit of apprehension. And usually, when they realize those are “enlightened Zendogs”, they do change their mindset too. Still I felt, 3 dogs is like making our zendo into a kennel.  Robert told me that we will look for an adopter for the puppy. We named her Kutti.

One day , as he took the bigger dogs to for his daily walk, Robert came in and left Kutti in my room and asked me to take care till they return.

After a thorough surveillance of the room, Kutti slept soundly , when she realized this palce can be trusted.

At that point, she just reminded me of  Jackie Mu, our original Zendog at Little flower Zendo.

She was gentle beast of a dog. She knows when and whom to be gentle and who should be scared away. Very tragically she was poisoned to death.  On 14  July 2023.

I had never felt so much grief on the death of a canine before.  And I wrote to Fr. AMA.

“Dear Fr. Ama 

     Tithy messaged me at 9 37 pm  saying. “Laddo / Jackie. Mu passed away. “

Suddenly I felt a pang in my heart. As something within me had died down.  I never had a pet before in my life leave alone a dog. And I just happened to remember the koan .  Mu.

As you used to teach us, all beings are connected in a way. 

Regardfully 

Vishy Sankara “

And he replied  immediately “I too was saddened by the death of Laadu. It was fond of you, followed you often. I am in tears. Peace to Laadu and to you and to me. Ama samy”.

As I was babysitting  Kutti,  I I had to message Tithy, my sangha sister , “Tithy,  Jackie Mu reborn as Kutti” !

At the very moment I pressed the send button of that message, I knew deep within that.

Life always happens in circles.

In Enso Circles. 

Nothing is lost. Nothing is dead.  

It will all come back to us in one form or another.

May be even formless…. In Emptiness.  As the first Koan in Zen  “Mu” !