“Do you meditate? How long? What difference it makes to you? As of now, I find it difficult to meditate in the conventional way. ” –  MS

I do. Meditate.  And for the last 241 days  i did that without a break.  Woke up well before 430 am on every single day and did meditate. Whether i went to bed, at 3 am after watching world cup foot ball , or i was traveling in a bus or train ,  or i had to wake up at 3 am to catch a bus at 5 am , i did make it a point to wake up and meditate.  I did that even when i was attending a sesshin @ BodhiZendo where we do meditate from morning 6 am till evening. 8:45 pm.

That was in response  for  an extreme over reaction from me to a life event.  And to my credit, i did recognise that as i am batting probably in the last innings of  my life and career, i  go to work on it.  I had dabbled in meditation for quite some time.  I would use the word dabble, because as an atheist and “Krishmurthiite (JK and UG), i did look down upon anything religious per se.  So my “dabbling” was very superficial in nature.  I remember  going for TM session with my brother. attending another session organised by ERC at. ITPL office, a AOL program (from where i got  “ushered out” for asking a Qn 🙂 ) and some programs  from Swami Sukhbodhananda. I got out of them sooner that i got in.  That kind of changed in 2006.  That was when, after a year long “OD Consulting :)” in a major IT company, their then Director of HR, thought i was a bit “burnt out ” and need a break and granted me 100 days of paid leave.  On the very next day i had signed up for my Vipassana course at Igatpuri. ( 31 May 2006).  That was 10 days of torture for me.  As if  i was put in a prison.  I dont remember meditating even for a minute.  I went to Igatpuri again  on 31.10.2007.  Most interestingly , i was assigned the same room number  J 42. 

It might have been a mere coincidence.  Igatpuri has some 700 + rooms  and they have Vipassana sessions around the year.  The probability of getting assigned the same room after some  17 months is very  thin mathematically.  At that point of time,  i took it as the universe telling me i got to start it again.  And i did start it quite earnestly.  Subsequently ,  going for Vipassana became an annual feature in my life.  I also went for a Satipattana Sutra course as well.  That came to a halt, when i wrote in my application that  i was not practicing every day, they had replied quite politely that i should practice for an year and then come back next year.  Instead for waiting for an year, i ended up in Bodhi Zendo .  Now i am a Zen student of. Fr. Ama Samy.  Zen  philosophy, meditation ,  Bodhi Zendo and Fr Ama Samy , i found quite a resonance.  It suited my nature and temperament.  Zen meditation is the most simple, most secular and each one of the meditator is on his own. There are no “self styled Gurus”  and  Questioning is. OK.

Coming back to meditation, in addition to early morning sesshin,  i also do a one minute meditation break during my. waking hours.    Leave alone all the spirituality, it did help to rebuild my life.  It  has put more poise and equanimity in me.  Have strengthened the relationships  i want to strengthen and let go others, whom i wanted to let go.  I work well .  And i enjoy  every moment of life.  Whether it is a vada sambar at Rameshwaram Cafe , making a cup of filter coffee for my sons,  enjoying a beer , watching a football match or  even  a meeting at work.  Most importantly, it had helped me to get out of the fear of the future and live in the present.